3rd post

Went to the temple to pray yesterday. Finally cant endure it following all that bad luck I had lately.
Went to pray for alot of people also.. haha.. Drew a lot after that, and omg, it's a bad lot.

Here's the intepretation: Luck and fortune must have a good foundation one rely on. One must have merit to deserve it. Would you heed things explained to you? Listen well you act.

Well, actually it doesnt sound much like a prediction to me, let alone a bad one, but well, that's what it's written on the piece of paper..
I actually saw it as some kind of advice. I don't know if that is vague but those words certainly sort of apply to me. With all the things happening around me lately, it's little wonder I have started to lose even the little faith I had in religion. With that also comes the question of what is luck or fortune. Since I did not want to put any faith in religon, of course I won't be able to really define what is luck and fortune. Guess I must start to go and ji de le..

I also admit, I have being turning quite a deaf ear to the little good advice I had, listening to only what I want to hear. Let's hope it's still not too late for me to start..

hmm, think that's all ba. nothing much to write about also.. tata~~


Should I or not I not? Another dilema.. Haizz

2nd post

How I wish people never have to say goodbye to each other ...

"Pain will quicken the world's growth" --> Is this really true?


I am not as resolute as I would like to be. Am I really too soft-hearted?


"Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane, never to return again, always in my heart"

1st post

Haizz.. Can't believe I am actually blogging now, but I guess I really need a place to let it all out (as suggested by someone) , so might as well bitch about everything here since I figure nobody will read this anyway.

So much have happened recently.. Really too much.. This year was actually supposed to be a very happy year for me, what with ORD and admission to university which I was looking so much forward to, but as the months went on, I really can say that I wish I can just turn back time to Dec 06 and jump to Jan 08.

ORD date.. The date that I would dare say 99.999% of the army guys will look forward to and recall with fondness, but not me.. I really hate that day and a part of me wish that I had never taken that pink IC. Think some of you will know why, I should not talk much about it also as I did not start this blog to bitch about this.

Fast forward to the present day of 22nd Oct. Though it was a monday, I did not go to work due to the stupid physics lab. Just before the 'viva', i received an sms from Cheston's hp sent out by Chinglee. As I stared at the sms, what was going through my mind was just "wth, this sort of thing also want to make fun of". When I smsed back, I just received a 2-word reply "No joke".

After this came the viva and needless to say, this felt like a totally disastrous lab session for me. But during the viva, I keep thinking about the sms and I came to the conclusion that maybe his friend just took his hp for fun and sent the sms.

Even after I smsed Jeremy to ask whether he received the same sms and he replied with "yes. He passed on", I was still like in a disbelieving state. I thought maybe Jeremy and him were like "bucking up" to play tricks since of course, they are roommates.

It was only when i smsed Irene and she mentioned that evon and cl received the same msg then i started to have second thoughts. Sh then called eric who confirmed that Cheston had indeed left us. After that, I keep on thinking to myself "how can this be real? Of all people - Cheston! The joker who brought joy to everyone" After that, on my way home from school, I actually took more than 3 hours. Took dunno how many wrong buses in a row.

As I was on the bus and I had some time to myself, I began to recall our JC and BMT days.

The times you tried to read those chinese passages during chinese lesson and the hilarious results and pronunciation that resulted, those times u argued with Mr Yong and Ms Chua in class, those times when you actually showed you must have an enemity with chickens in your past life, those times we had a good laugh over the fish shit and the looks on our face when the gals actually adopted the idea and the disbelief that we actually did ok for the PW, those times u tried to chao geng during PE by "going toilet" and coming back conveniently when we have finished our rounds, those masterpieces you made "The beatles", "Praying Mantis", "The monster" ... What about the time when the whole class turned up to show support and to cheer our voices coarse for you during the Talentime and you didnt let us down. To you, there is always a lighter side to everything, even your own name, when you were complaining to us that your grandma used to call you Cheese-ton. There will always bring joy and laughter with you alround no matter where we are, in lecture, tutorials, canteens or even on the track while we were running.

Come to think of it, I was actually secretly happy I was in the same bunk as you during BMT. Being as crappy as you were, somehow there was always a sliver lining no matter how dreadful army seemed to be at that time. The times we were pikachus together, the time we actually went sneaked off to the canteen when our whole company were in field camp and we were slacking in bunk, the times you would perform your 1 hand rifle tricks and became the star performer in the marching contingent, and who can ever forget the scene of you walking around in just your underwear and your boots and talking on the phone to Lena. And who can ever forget the time we ran across to Raven to take a shower as their toilet was cleaner and we didnt want to dirty ours and we were almost caught in the process.

Still remembered after our 16K route march, you even helped me carry my field pack up as I was having a fever. Though it is a small gesture, I would always appreciate it as they say "It's the little things that count" =) I could also remember that shock I had when I saw you wearing the blue tag on your ampulet for people with asthma. But when you told me its childhood asthma, again I laughed at you, saying you were trying to chao geng.

Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought of those scenes but the floodgates really opened when I finally reach home and saw all those msn nicks online. It was the 1st time I had actually cried since "that day"

Thanks Chik for helping me through the supposedly toughest time of our army lives and for bring so much joy and fun to our lives. Because of your antics and ability to make people laugh, all that has seemed more bearable. But the part I found most ironic about was an incident you mentioned to us before. And that is about you relating how you were almost suffocated in your sleep once by your pillow and that your woke up in the nick of time. The moment news of you passing away sunk in, that was the 1st thing I thought about. There you were saying that you almost died in your sleep before and had everyone laughing at you (me included) and now, you really did the same thing a few yrs later.

Life can be so unpredicatable and ironic at times. Even though I have being telling a few people to cheer up and move on, but I wonder how long I will take myself to move on. Even though I always try to think of Hafiz's philosophy "It is never goodbye, but always see you later", I still find it very hard to apply it. Guess it really takes time ba.. Don't worry, you will never be forgotten. The world already is a less joyous place w/o you. Now all we have are only memories and sadly, they'll always be memories...

In Loving Memory of Cheston Chik

Unique name, unique surname, unique guy

PS: You should actually be honored, dickhead. I can't believe that me, of all people, will actually start a blog.

PSS: Thanks to all those who have actually given me advice. Esp to Hafiz who is going through the same thing as me but found time to kai dao me. Sorry Jiejie for making you relieving your sad memories. Can tell that just now you were almost in tears. =(